Hector Bellerin and Tiemoue Bakayoko in the Premier League

Are you there? A forgotten or unchangeable player for every Premier League club

Next season is playfully close now, you know. But there is still business for everyone to do. Even those who have been smart with their earnings have to sort the other side of the ledger. And that’s where these guys come in. A player for every Premier League club who’s still there, although for whatever reason he doesn’t really have to be…

Arsenal – Hector Bellerin
The hipster soccer player your dad loves to hate — did you know he’s a fucking vegan too? – seems to have run his race at Arsenal but, having returned from a suitably enigmatic loan spell at Real Betis, he’s still technically a gooner. Has not played in the Premier League since May 2021 when an injury to Calum Chambers – himself no longer at Arsenal – made for a 22-minute cameo against Chelsea. Betis would be keen to sign Bellerin, who isn’t a complete outsider to have been taken on Arsenal’s US tour, but other dominoes are yet to fall first. Most notable is Nottingham Forest who have signed Alex Moreno from Betis.

Aston Villa – Frederic Guilbert
Thanks to the rona-delayed conclusion of the 19/20 season, it has been almost exactly two years since Guilbert’s last Premier League appearance on the last matchday of this extended season on July 26. Spent the first half of the 20/21 season either injured or on the bench before being loaned out to Strasbourg for six months on January 21, which he enjoyed so much he stayed here for a full year. Currently touring with Villa in Oz and could spend the last year of his contract as understudy to Matty Cash.

Brentford-Joel Valencia
Has not played for Brentford since they failed to reach the Premier League through the play-offs two years ago. He has also not scored since scoring his only goal at Brentford in 2019/20 despite being on loan at Legia Warsaw and Alcorcon. Admittedly, he only started six games for Alcorcon, but when you have “only six games in the starting XI for a Spanish second division club” that’s a big reason for the defence, that’s where you have problems. Now he’s entering the final year of his Brentford contract and here’s a hot take for you: We don’t think he’ll get another.

Bournemouth-Junior Stanislas
Injuries kept the 32-year-old a supporting role in the promotion campaign – he wasn’t involved at all after the new year – and it’s very hard to see him with the Cherries’ meager selection on the transfer front making up for how he manages to to be an integral part of a Bournemouth Premier League squad again.

Brighton—Florin Andone
Spent last season on loan at Cadiz who wanted to return him halfway through the season. Brighton politely declined but are now stuck with the Romanian striker for another year unless alternative arrangements can be found. Wouldn’t ask Cadiz to be honest.

Chelsea – Tiemoue Bakayoko
Things could change at Chelsea under new leadership but for now they remain a treasure trove of such things. Baba Rahman, Kenedy and Michy Batshuayi are all currently on the payroll. However, Bakayoko is a clear winner as he finds himself in the outcast wilderness at not one, but two clubs. Chelsea obviously, but also Milan, who are desperate for a way out halfway through a two-year loan deal for the Frenchman. Roma, Seville and Marseille have all been touted as possible destinations but nothing has stuck so far. And it could well be that Milan stays with him for this season and Chelsea for the next.

Crystal Palace – James Tomkins
Has not started a Premier League game for Palace since a 3-0 defeat at Spurs in December. Is 33 years old. Still got a new 12-month contract. fair play for him.

Everton – Jean-Philippe Gbamin
that of a man Like a signing is another man. You’ve been here three years and have made six Premier League appearances totaling just 210 minutes, only one of which lasted more than 45 minutes. hey Has had bad luck with injuries to be fair.

Fulham-Terence Kongolo
The Cottagers didn’t want him in January and boss Marco Silva acknowledged they were actively trying to move him on. Unfortunately nobody else wanted him either. If Fulham didn’t want him in the Championship six months ago, they certainly don’t now. However, his contract still has two years left. So unless Fulham are able to reschedule him, he could still be there for another full Fulham cycle of relegation and promotion before his contract expires.

Leeds-Kiko Casilla
Back at Elland Road after a year’s loan at Elche on a deal so lucrative Leeds are reportedly willing to pay him not to have that door banged in his ass on the way out.

Leicester-Dennis Praet
With Youri Tielemans looking increasingly likely to stay at Leicester this summer, Praet’s situation is only getting worse. His loan spell at Torino last season was quite good but they have been reluctant to top up the £12.5million needed to make that loan permanent, instead trying to get the Foxes to end one to accept another loan agreement with a lower final payment. It’s a gamble by the Italians, but it can work out well in the end. However, he’s a bit stuck at the moment.

Liverpool-Nat Phillips
Loris Karius has been the default choice for Liverpool in this feature since 2018 but sadly those glory days are now over. And the departure of The Other Ben Davies to Rangers is another blow. But all is not lost. Nat Phillips hasn’t left as long as we can get this feature done nice and fast. He has reportedly had suitors in both the Championship and Germany, having helped Bournemouth back to the top flight on loan last season. Hasn’t played a Premier League game since the last game of the 2020/21 season, the latest in a streak of nine full 90s in 11 games during this crazy period when Liverpool had no centre-backs at all.

Manchester City-Scott Carson
Still just awesome that this is a thing to be honest with you.

Manchester United – Phil Jones
Played in four Premier League games last season after being injured or out of favor or just existing in the same form for more than two years Attacking people with their head and face. He has a year left on his contract at Manchester United but all our fun could end with a move to the States and a reunion with former teammate and current DC United boss Wayne Rooney. At that point, it will be Aaron Wan-Bissaka’s turn to take that seat.

Newcastle-Matty Longstaff
Many players are likely to be left behind by the pace of change at Newcastle in the coming months and years, but the tragedy for the younger Longstaff, who scored a winner against Manchester United on his Premier League debut, was that the rot had set in before it everything else in the club changed. Went from Newcastle to Aberdeen to Mansfield last season and there is little sign of a happy trajectory awaiting him this time.

Nottingham Forest Harry Arter
The 32-year-old has one year left on his contract and spent the second half of last season playing National League football for Forest’s local rivals Notts County. If he has any future in the Premier League Nottingham Forest at the end of the day then it’s a bloody story arc.

Southampton-Moussa Djenepo
Fell horribly out of favor last season after being heavily involved in eight of the first nine Premier League games of the season at Southampton. Had 18 minutes to enjoy himself on a final day against Leicester so that’s nice for him, isn’t it? Those 18 minutes also more than quadrupled his total Premier League playing time for 2022.

Tottenham-Joe Rodon
There are more notable outcasts at Spurs, notably Tanguy Ndombele and Giovani Lo Celso, both of whom are back at the club after loan spells in the second half of the season. But both were quite involved last season before being kicked out. As absurd as it may sound, Lo Celso’s last game for Spurs was the hilarious 3-2 win at Leicester in what felt like five minutes. But it’s Rodon who’s looking the most lost now. He actually appeared in two of Spurs’ last three games of the season but you’ll be forgiven if you missed his appearances off the bench against Arsenal and Burnley. Aside from that, his only minutes in the Premier League came as an early replacement for an injured Eric Dier in Spurs’ first defeat – and a smashing 3-0 defeat – under Nuno Espirito Santo. There is a World Cup taking place in November where Rodon should be one of the main players for Wales. He has to move.

West Ham’s Darren Randolph
Another European season with a slim squad means David Moyes will once again be grateful for any substitute he happens to come across, but even he might be surprised to find Randolph, who didn’t appear in any competition at all last season and only made it to a Premier League bench three times and was still hanging around.

Wolves – Patrick Cutrone
His second and last goal in Wolves league to date comes before the pandemic and his magic in the Serie A showcase last season saw him score three times in 28 games for Empoli. Just a year for Wolves to live with the £16m blunder before everyone can move on unless some Rube can be persuaded to hand the striker cash sooner.


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